Hump Day!

It’s that time of the week where we’re all on the verge of insanity, waiting for the weekend to come.

Every ten minutes feeling like an hour, every hour feels like a day.

It’s exhausting!

But you’re almost there, just two more days mis amigos!

I for one, have been all kinds of messed up this week, that’s why I have to write this random, ill thought out blog.

Why am I all messed up you ask? No you didn’t? Oh well –

Let me catch you up…

• I’ve been trying to find a job, finally got an interview this week, then missed it. Yay!

Thankfully, the guy gave me a second chance – Better yay!

• I’ve been trying to do freelance work to earn a little extra cash while I wait for a job, then, out of nowhere I start to get a few jobs all at once, which is overwhelming.

• Finally, school started back this week!

Long story short, I’ve been busy this week and I’m not used to it so it’s kinda freaking me out.

I know these are all blessings and I sound like a little b**** complaining but I truly am grateful.

Like I said in previous blogs, I’m lazy, so having things to do is going to take a little time to get used to and a lot of planning.

I’ll figure it out.

Anyway, it wasn’t until five minutes ago that it dawned on me that I don’t have a blog for today, so I thought I would shake things up a bit.

I want to use this blog to catch up with you guys.

Let’s talk, it’ll be fun!

In the comments below feel free to answer these questions:

• How’s your week going so far?

• How’s your day going?

• Has anybody annoyed you recently? How? I want all the deets.

• If you’re working on a project right now, what is it?

• What did you eat today? ( Never write on an empty stomach.)

You don’t have to answer any of these annoying questions if you don’t want to. I don’t blame you.

Whatever’s on your mind, type it down below.

I want to know what’s up.

Happy Hump Day!


I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana1
Itsjusttianablogs
Facebook.com/blogsbyt
Advertisements

My Non-Traditional Meditation Method…

Meditating, just like everything else: iced coffee, poke, vintage clothing, anything green and disgusting and any clothing item that barely covers your body, seems to be a random “trendy” thing to do nowadays.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I went to school and some random person – who, quite a few times, seemed like they were on acid – has ranted to me about meditation and how it “changed their lives” and “helped them become one with themselves”.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that meditating actually does help a lot of people and that’s amazing.

Do you baby-boo.

But it just hasn’t ever worked for me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get myself to sit for twenty minutes and listen to the wind.

I was just bored as f***.

Overtime, I figured out a new way that I could connect with myself without having an anxiety attack every time I couldn’t stop getting distracted by the damn clock ticking and me trying to stay on-beat with it.

I don’t need to listen to my heartbeat or my stomach gargle or whatever it is that you’re supposed to listen to.

Nope…I just talk to myself.

Everyday I go to a quiet room for two minutes – that’s all it usually takes – and I ask myself how I’m doing physically, mentally and emotionally.

If I’m doing fine in all three categories that day, great, that’s that.

However, if something is going on in the ‘ol noggin, corazon or soul ( I didn’t know a cool word for that one), that two minutes takes a little bit longer.

I then sit in said room, look like a psycho, and talk to myself about what’s going on.

I talk about things such as:

  • What it is that I’m feeling.
  • Why I’m feeling this way.
  • I give myself advice…because I’m good at it *wink* *wink*.
  • Try to talk myself through my emotions and figure out ways in which I can allow myself to feel better.

I may look and sound like a crazy person doing this, but it’s something that has helped me so much in the past couple of years.

I’ve never been the type of person who liked to talk about my emotions or get advice because I felt like nobody could help anyway.

I would leave all these negative emotions inside – which obviously isn’t healthy – and it would create nothing but even more negative feelings.

Doing this allows me to release all my thoughts and emotions and figure out good, productive, healthy ways to cope with them.

Talking to myself is the best way for me to keep myself emotionally stable.

I mean, who knows you better than yourself right?

Try it out and tell me what you think.


Question Time:

  • What are your thoughts on meditating?
  • What is the best form of meditation that works for you?

I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana
Itsjusttianablogs
Blogsbyt

My Thoughts: Love at First Sight

Ah, love at first sight. What is it exactly?

Some believe it doesn’t exist, you just see someone and it’s nothing but infatuation…you just want to get in their pants pretty much.

Whereas others tend to have different ideas.

They believe that it’s possible to see someone and have an instant soul connection, instantly want to know more about them. Instantly want to spend time with them . Instantly know that’s who you’ve been waiting for your entire life.

You won’t be able to shake them.

I’m one of those people.

Contrary to my last “My Thoughts” post where I discussed my thoughts on whether or not soulmates exist, I actually have a strong answer this time.

I may not fully agree with the term “soulmate”, but I do believe there’s someone out there waiting for each and every one of us and we’ll know when we find them.

It’ll be like no one you’ve ever met before.

You’ll be drawn to them, their energy will connect with yours. You might get nervous around them when you’re usually a confident person. There will instantly be something about them that you’ve never seen in anyone else.

They’ll captivate you and you won’t want to let go.

It’ll feel like home.

Now, I’m so single that it’s ridiculous but I know there’s a difference between wanting to take someone to bed, and wanting to learn everything there is to know about them.

It’s different. It just is.


Question Time:

  • Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana

@itsjusttiana1

Itsjusttianablogs

Facebook.com/blogsbyt

3 Songs That Completely Changed My Life

We all come across that one song – well, in my case 3 – that absolutely changes who we are as a person.

Whatever the emotion is that it evokes in us is unlike anything we’ve ever felt before.

Whether it inspires us to be better, brings us back to an old memory or helps us deal with our emotions in a way that nothing else can…

It sparks something within us.

It makes us feel connected to something bigger than just our own thoughts and feelings.

It lets you know that you’re not alone.

Here are three songs that did that to me:


She Used to be Mine – Waitress

Even though this song can be depressing as hell, it’s sad in the most beautiful way.

Every time things are hard or I feel lost and don’t know who I am, I turn to this song.

I straight-up ugly-cry every time I hear it but somehow, come out feeling stronger and ready to fight through life.

It reminds me of the little girl I once was, so brave and carefree despite what was going on in the world around me.

It motivates me to keep fighting for her, because she deserves it.

“For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two, for the girl that I knew. Who’ll be reckless, just enough.” -Waitress.


Cry Today, Smile Today – Anthony Ramos

The title in itself should show you what an incredibly inspiring song this is.

Considering Anthony just released this song, I haven’t known about it for long.

From the moment his angelic voice, given to him straight from God himself sang those words, ” ’cause lately friends don’t stick around’ I knew this was going to be a song that I was going to play 10,000 times in the next month.

The lyrics are so pure, so beautiful, so magnetic.

Anyone who listens to it will be able to relate because there’s something in it for everyone.

We all need to know that it’s okay to feel our emotions but to not to be consumed by them. Get back up and try again tomorrow.

This songs message is something that everyone needs to here and when you here the story behind the lyrics, you’ll love it even more.

“With puzzled pieces in my palms, wondering what the hell I did wrong.” – Anthony Ramos


Waiting for Superman – Daughtry

Ah, saved the best for last.

This song right here is probably my all time favorite song.

EVER.

When I hear this song, I can interpret it in so many different ways depending on whatever annoying emotion I’m dealing with that day.

The song is about a women who’s waiting for Superman (the love of her life) to come find her. In the meantime, she just chillin’ and searching for what will belong to her eventually.

Yes I do listen to this song in times of loneliness, wondering where my “Superman” is, but that’s not the only thing I interpret it as…

I connect “Superman” to my goals, wondering when my dreams are going to come true but still working towards them.

I connect it with people in my life that I miss.

I connect it with my future and just waiting for the next chapter in my life.

I’m not going to lie, I do mostly connect it to love but I also thought about these other things while listening to it before too.

That’s what’s so beautiful about the song, it’s so creatively written that you can connect it to whatever you’re going through.

I’ve been in love with this song for about 6 years now and probably always will be.

Might even get this tattooed on me –

“Making a wish on a passing car.” – Daughtry


Question Time:

• What’s a song that changed your life? Or maybe that you just really like.


I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana1
Itsjusttianablogs
Facebook.com/blogsbyt

How Anxiety Changed Me for the Better

As you guys may have read before, anxiety has been something that I’ve struggled with for a very long time.

I still do actually.

I’m not sure if it’ll ever completely go away and I’ve learned to accept that.

For anyone who struggles with anxiety or any other mental hardship, you may think it’s only there to torture you, but I promise, one day you’re going to look back and see that it made you stronger.

I never believed that would be true for me until I looked back on where I was then and compared it to how strong I am now.

I can tell you now, that my anxiety changed me for the better and here’s how…


Studying the Art That is Me

It all started back when I was just a wee-prepubescent-tot in the 6th grade.

After living my whole life in my hometown, growing up with the same kids and knowing the same teachers year-after-year, my mom decided to up and move to LA.

I was completely lost in the art of making new friends.

I’ve never learned how to because I’ve never needed to! I’ve had the same friends my whole life.

My social anxiety went through the roof to the point where it was impossible to make new friends.

Those three years were miserable to say the least.

Everyday I sat alone. Everyday I had no one to talk to. Everyday I tried my hardest to convince my mom not to make me go to school. Everyday I was lonely.

Until finally in eighth grade, I decided my best bet was to be home-schooled.

That must be better than having no friends, right?

It wasn’t.

For four years, I sat in my room alone. I had no one to talk to. I was all alone.

I cried a lot.

I almost went insane.

As horrible and lonely this time in my life was, those dead-silent four walls taught me a lot.

I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted, what made me sad, what made me happy, what I needed to change.

Looking back, would I go back and change my decision to home-school? Yes.

But I don’t regret my choice. It led me here, writing this post for you.

Pushed Through My Fears

All those years of being by myself led me to my breaking point.

I didn’t want to be that person anymore.

I wanted to stop caring whether or not people liked me. I wanted to stop being shy. I wanted to stop being scared of meeting new people. I wanted to stop disliking myself. I wanted to stop feeling anxious. I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to stop praying to a God I wasn’t even sure existed. I wanted to stop being me.

So, I decided I needed to change.

Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” – Walter Anderson

I didn’t know where to start exactly, but I knew that what I needed was to be around people.

I knew that getting a job would take way too long, especially being in a wheelchair.

I didn’t want to wait any longer, I had to do something now. So, I decided to enroll in college.

I’m not going to lie, during my first year, there were multiple times where I just wanted to throw my towel in, say “I give up” and drop out of school.

I wasn’t taking classes I enjoyed, I wasn’t meeting anybody, I wasn’t becoming more social. I hated everything about it…well, maybe not the financial aid. That was nice.

Anyways, I was nearing the beginning of a new semester and had no interest in re-enrolling. I convinced myself that I would find other ways to get out the house.

That same day I was home alone…all day…by myself.

I knew I couldn’t go back to that part of my life. I had to stick it out.

I started thinking about majors that I could possibly enjoy and that would also help me step out of my comfort zone.

I remembered how one time my teacher wrote on my paper how I would be great on the speech and debate team based on my essay.

That’s when I found my new major.

Even though it was the most horrifying thing ever, I absolutely loved it!

Overtime, I started getting used to the thrill of it all. I wouldn’t get as nervous, I stopped shaking, I even started making eye contact with the audience.

As nice as it was finally being able to feel comfortable in front of people, I missed that thrill.

The adrenaline after each speech made me get excited, feel more confident, more talkative.

I wanted that back.

I needed to step up my game.

That my friends, is when I joined theatre.

(Yes, I spelt it with an ‘re because I’m fancy like that.)

Social Butterfly

As most people would assume, being involved in theater and speech for two years took away a big percentage of my social anxiety.

I was able to easily hold conversations with people (sometimes longer than need be). I finally felt free to be myself. I slowly stopped caring what people thought about me. Things that I thought made me look stupid before started to seem so minuscule. I stopped having anxiety if people stared at me and I gained more confidence than I thought I could.

When I first started taking theater and speech classes I was HORRIBLE.

It wasn’t even that I wasn’t good, I just couldn’t even try because the anxiety was too much…so yeah, I guess that would mean I wasn’t good.

Over time, with continuous acts of stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping in front of people, my anxiety started dying down.

I was able to give f***ing amazing performances, if I do say so myself.

These good performances and continuous support from my classmates boosted my confidence in ways I wouldn’t trade for the world.

From that point on, holding conversations and meeting new people was a walk in the park.

I don’t act anymore but I will forever be grateful for the opportunities and memories I’ve gotten from doing it because it truly saved me.

Love and Life

Most people believe that you don’t really know what you want out of love until you go out there and test the waters, meet new people, get your heart broken a couple of times.

It was opposite for me.

I learned exactly what I wanted needed by being completely alone.

I had a lot of time to sit around and think. Think about the types of people I want in my life. The types of people in my past who brought out the best in me that I hope to have in the future. The type of person I need by my side. The type of person who would love me the way I want and deserved to be loved. I thought about the people who I chased in the past but who didn’t chase back and how I would never do that again.

Being single also allowed me learn from other people’s mistakes. Like a journalist, I would sit back and watch, ready to find the hottest gossip for next weeks pitch meeting.

Notebook in hand, pencil behind the ear, ready to go.

I took notes on things that I needed to be prepared for before falling in love, such as: the difficulties of me being in a wheelchair, his life choices, – not to sound judgey, but dudes gotta have a job – whether or not this person respects me and makes it easy for me to trust him, if I genuinely love him and love being around him, what I want to achieve in life before settling down, the list goes on and on.

My anxiety plays a huge part in letting people in because of all things I have to think about, but hey, hopefully it lets me know what I want.

I Deserve the World

Out of all the things my anxiety has taught me, the most important thing was that I realized what I deserve.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have my doubts about myself, I still have my anxieties and let’s be honest…I’m still lazy.

But despite all this, I learned that nobody’s going to be there for me except myself and in all reality, that’s all I need.

I went through a lot in those years of solidarity. It made me feel drained for a long time. I’m still recovering to this day. Now that I’ve built a little bit more confidence, it’s time that I focus on myself and know that’s enough.

I know that I need to create the reality that I want to exist and that starts from within, but it also takes time.

I know who I am…but I’m still learning.

I know what I want…but I’m still learning.

I know who I want to be friends with…but I’m still learning.

I know the type of man I want to love me…but I’m still learning.

I know how to deal with my anxieties and sadness…but I’m still learning.

I know I deserve the world…but I’m still learning what that world is.

I’m learning…and that’s okay.

Before I learned how to control my anxiety, I didn’t want to learn. I wanted to be happy NOW. I wanted to have friends NOW. I wanted to fall in love NOW.

I was so impatient and that’s what drove me insane.

My anxiety taught me to reach for what I want, but to also be okay with where I am. It’s still a battle I face everyday, but it’s one I’m strong enough to handle.


Question Time:

  • What’s one “negative” thing in your life that you’re grateful for? How did you get to this stage?

I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana1
Itsjusttianablogs
Blogsbyt

Summer Goals • 2019

Ah, summer! The second opportunity we get each year to make plans to change our lives, even though we never do.

Why?

Because humans are lazy…

Kidding.

Anyways, there’s a trend going around in the blogging community where writers are talking about their goals for this upcoming, miserably-hot, nothing-going-on-even-though-people-think-there’s-going-to-be-things-going-on-so-they-are-just-left-dissappointed- SEASON!

Can you tell I’m bitter about summer?

Moving on, shout out to Hannah from The Striped Plaid for giving me this idea by writing her own awesome post about her goals for this summer. Really excited me to want to write some myself. Go check her out!

Here are my goals for this summer…



1. Pay for a Business Account

I’ve been getting really ticked-off lately because there’s so much I want to do with my blog to make it better and more interactive –

BUT YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A FREAKIN’ BUSINESS ACCOUNT.

I plan on purchasing a site this summer so I can: one, get a domain name – yay! – and two, get awesome widgets like an email-list and click to tweet.

Be excited, ’cause this summer’s about to get cray-zee on this ‘ere blog!

2. Network, network, network!

Remember how I told you that I was like SUPER FAMOUS because I have 20 followers now?

Well fame doesn’t come from nowhere –

YOU GOTTA WORK FOR THAT SH**!

(I’m gonna stop with that joke now.)

But in all seriousness, half of my current followers have come from blogs that I genuinely enjoy and follow.

I find blogs that I like, (obviously) read their post, and constantly comment and keep in touch with them.

I don’t ask for follows. I don’t ask them to check out my page. I’m just genuine and – sometimes – they check out my page and follow me back.

It’s pretty awesome.

I also find people on social media and do the same thing, which tends to work too.

Like I said, I only do this to people I genuinely enjoy. I’m not just looking for opportunities to be a kiss-ass.

I find blogs I like, comment, and if they happen to follow me back – amazing!

Any-who, that’s what I’m going to do this summer, just continue to build relationships and find some new ones along the way.

I’m excited.

3. Post 3x’s a Week.

I already told you guys about how I wanted to start posting 3x’s a week.

I want to keep that up during summer.

Welp, not much else to say…

Next.

4. Continue to Learn

I’m still a fetus in this world of blogging and I want to grow to be Andre the Giant.

Dumb joke, I know.

My goal this summer is to continue to learn how the art of blogging works.

Here are a couple of things I hope to master by the end of summer:

  • Email-lists.
  • Building an audience.
  • Guest Blogging.
  • The Business side of blogging.

I’m going to dedicate a lot of my free-time to studying everything I can about WordPress and blogging in general.

I’ve never thought I would love doing this as much as I’ve grown to and it’s something that I know I can be good at and even, hopefully, make a career out of someday.

Let’s see what happens…

5. 100 Followers

I chose this number because it’s not an unreasonable goal.

I have what? 3-4 months to gain gain under 80 followers?

Not bad.

The dream would be to have OVER 100 followers by the end of the summer but my main focus is to get to 100.

Can you imagine? 100 of you guys voluntarily wanting to read my nonsense?

Woah.

I love building relationships and talking to people on this site and if those numbers can grow?…Well gosh-darnit, I’d be a happy little lamb!

What?….

If you’re reading this…you know what to do. 😉



1. Get Out More

Whether it’s through my blog, freelance writing, or working for a business, my goal is to eventually make money someday working from home.

I’ve been going to college for about two years now, and I recently realized that it’s not for me.

YO GIRL NEEDS TO MAKE MONEY!

In my situation – being in a wheelchair – it’s almost impossible to go to school and work a full time job.

So I chose working.

Long-story-short, if I do end up working from home and not going to school, I worry about how often I’d be getting out the house.

I want to start making a goal to plan at least 2 or 3 things a week that I can do to get my lazy butt out on the town.

When that time comes, I don’t want to turn into a hermit so I’m going to start now.

Los Angeles, here I come!…probably by myself, because…I have no friends…BUT HERE I COME NONETHELESS.

2. Meet New People

This kind of goes hand-in-hand with goal number one. Remember the whole “getting out” and “no friends” thing? Well, yeah, one thing I can do to fix those things is to reach out and try to meet new people.

Am I getting an anxiety attack just thinking about this? Yup.

I’ll be fine – it’s whatever.

So, whether it’s by going to meet-ups, taking hobby classes, or talking to strangers at the bus stop (probably shouldn’t do that one), I’m going to get my little socially-awkward self out of my comfort zone and go meet new people this summer.

“yay”.

3. Find a Job

Until I figure out my dream of being lazy and working from home, I’m going to need a real job in the meantime.

Again, being in a wheelchair, finding a mainstream job isn’t the easiest thing to do.

My goal this summer is to think of some jobs that I would love to and can do, apply, get a job, and wring in the coin.

Goodness, I can’t wait.

giphy

4. Take Care of Myself

This one is probably the most important one to me – and should be for everyone.

I worry a lot. I stress a lot. I think about the future a lot. I think about people a lot. I hold on to people –  who I shouldn’t – a lot. I overthink a lot. I think about the worst case scenarios a lot.

Point blank, I think too much and this – obviously – affects my mind and in-turn, my body.

This summer I’m going to focus on me.

Whether physical, psychological, or emotional, I’m going to start paying more attention to and take care of myself.

If I don’t do it, who will?


I don’t know if I’m going to get all of these things done this summer, or if it’s going to take me much longer. What I do know is, no matter how long the journey takes, I want to get to the destination.

As corny as I’m being right now, I want to say one more thing.

You don’t need to wait for New Years or Summer or whatever to have goals for yourself. Try to grow every single day.

You got this!


Question Time:

  • What are your goals for this summer?
  • Do you keep the goals you make during these seasons? It’s okay, you can be honest. I won’t judge.

I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana1
Itsjusttianablogs
Blogsbyt

“I Hope You Heal”

Being a multi-disabled human being, I’ve heard a lot of insulting things.

A LOT.

In fact, you can check some of them out here. 😉

But out of all of the things I’ve heard, nothing,

NOTHING

compares to the ignorance of someone saying: “I hope you get healed one day”.

Honestly, in my whole 24 years of living, I haven’t had this said to me before so it kinda took me by surprise when not one,

BUT TWO

uncultured dingbats said it to me this week alone.

I swear, I must’ve been wearing a sign that said, “I’m a sinner who has been punished for my actions and that’s why I’m sitting in this chair…God hates me, help!”

I say this because these two dingbats (this is officially their names), I swear to goodness, looked at me like I was from mother-freakin Hades when they said this to me.

Like saying, “I hope you heal one day” was a blessing they bestowed on me so God can forgive my sins of…I don’t know?…being alive?

As much as I’m rambling on about this, it might seem like it bothered me, but it didn’t .

Really, it didn’t.

*secretly cries in corner*

No, but in all honesty, it didn’t bother me.

Was it random? Yes. Did it catch me off-guard? Yes. Did I want to run over their feet in hopes of breaking their ankles? Of course.

But I’m numb to insulting things by now.

Why I’m writing this is because I don’t understand why people believe that others who are different, live differently, think differently, love differently, etc need to be “healed”.

It just blows my mind how ignorant and closed-minded people are.

So, whoever you are, whoever you love, whatever you believe, whatever you want to do, just keep doing you.

There’s always going to be people who don’t agree with who you are.

Just piss them off and keep doing it.

It’s fun seeing dumb people get mad. You should test it out someday.


Question:

Is there something insulting that people frequently say or have said to you in the past? How did you deal with it?


I’d Love to Hear from You!

If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let’s do it!

You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Itsjusttiana
@itsjusttiana1
Itsjusttianablogs
Blogsbyt